Five year phase-in plan for "EuroEnglish"
	


	

	     The  European  Commission  have  just  announced  an agreement  whereby

	English will be the official language  of the EU, rather  than German, which

	was  the  other  possibility. As part of  the  negotiations,  Her  Majesty's

	government  conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and

	has accepted a five year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish".

	

	     In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this  will

	make the sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour

	of  the "k". This should  klear up  konfusion and keyboards kan have  1 less

	letter.

	

	     There will be growing publik  enthusiasm  in the sekond year, when  the

	troublesome  "ph" will  be replaced with the "f". This will make  words like

	"fotograf" 20% shorter.

	

	     In  the  third  year, publik  akseptanse  of  the new spelling  kan  be

	expekted to  reach the stage  where more  komplikated changes  are possible.

	Governments will enkorage  the  removal of double letters, which have always

	ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of

	the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

	

	     By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv  to steps such as replasing "th"

	with "z" and "w" with "v".

	

	     During  ze  fifz  year,  ze  unesesary  "o"  kan be  dropd  from  vords

	kontaining  "ou"   and  similar  changes  vud  of  kors  be  aplid  to  ozer

	kombinations of leters.  After  zis fifz year,  ve  vil hav a  realy sensibl

	riten styl. Zer vil be  no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil  find it

	ezi to understand each ozer

	

	     ZE DREAM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!